Christmas 2005

Everything has been so slow of late, so I thought I'd go back in time a bit. Try to harness a few good memories of this process.

Three (yes, 3) years ago today, I was a nervous wreck. Actually, I'd been nervous for about a week but December 23, 2005 was the pinnacle of future mommy freak out.

I was waiting to hear from Great Wall if they had accepted my application.

GW, and the other agencies that dealt with single adoptive parents, had a limited number of slots for 2006. At the time, China limited the number of single parent adoptions each year.

For the previous week, I'd been receiving emails from GW letting me know that they were preparing to notify those they had accepted. The email on December 22nd let us know that they had begun their calls and would be finished by noon on the 23rd.

To my ex-boss, if you are reading this, I confess - I didn't get a lot of work done on the 22nd. Okay, I doubt I got any work done; I just kept staring at my phone, and willing it to ring.

It didn’t ring.

I took a vacation day on December 23rd, and spent the morning with my phone clutched in my hand. I didn’t shop, I didn’t eat, I didn’t go out.

It didn’t ring.

After about 1 o’clock, I resigned myself to the fact that I hadn’t made the cut. I told myself it was for the best and that I would apply next year. Maybe this was God’s way of telling me the time wasn’t right. So, I got up, went out for a bit, and then came home for a little pity party.

At about 3 o’clock my phone rang and honestly I thought it was work calling. I wasn’t going to answer until I realized I didn’t recognize the area code.

The woman on the phone said she was from Great Wall. I’d been accepted.

I was in shock. I don’t think I sounded excited to her; I probably sounded like I thought it was a joke.

I had a honest-to-goodness Christmas miracle that year. Best Christmas gift of my life. Better than a Dancing Ballerina doll, or a new flat screen TV, or anything made of cashmere/platinum/ diamonds.

Next Christmas, I hope I can say that gift has been topped by something, someone, even better.

Merry Christmas to all,

m

Latest CCAA stats

Referrals issued for families with dossiers registered on or before:

February 23, 2006.

Reviews completed for families with dossiers registered on or before:

March 31, 2007.

m

My first gift from Practice Baby

I think my first gift to my parents was a clay ashtray. Oh how times have changed!

I look forward to my very first piece of macaroni art from Beach Baby. Especially if there is glitter involved.

The puppy is my only baby now (the cats are geriatric) and without opposable thumbs he's no good with macaroni pieces.

But Practice Baby did give me his first gift. A few days ago, he was outside on the lead enjoying the backyard. I went out to let him in and he gleefully trotted towards me with a large pinecone in his mouth. Hey, I don't have pine trees in my yard . . . oh no, that is NOT a pinecone!

Poor, poor mole. I don't know if the puppy found it that way or was the architect of its early demise. Either way, YUCK!

m

Why it is taking me so long to start a family

This is an example of the speed at which I make decisions:

I have owned 2 chairs for a long time. They were originally Mom and Dad's; they inherited them from my aunt and uncle as starter furniture for their first apartment.

By the time they came into my home the upholstery was shredded, the trim was falling off, and when you sat in them you were lucky not to go through the seat.

So again and again I've said, "I need to get those chairs redone", "I really want to fix those chairs", etc.

They were permanent To Do list items. Right along with "move to a house by the ocean" and "get a personal trainer".

I finally sent the chairs off for repair and reupholstery and last week they came back.

It only took 20 years.

It takes a while for my ideas to come to fruition.

One of the chairs today

Me in the same chair a looong time ago.

m

Nursery beginnings

What I've learned from my puppy (aka practice baby)

1. Little teeth can really bite.



2. Baby's early bedtime is because you're tired, not the baby.



3. All natural, high-quality organic = really foul, messy poo.



4. The more beloved the toy, the more noise it makes.



5. That giant hamster ball idea isn't so bad. At least the house would stay clean.



6. I really don't need all those shoes.

m

The nursery transformation begins (did I say that before?)

What is the motivation you ask?

Actually it is thanks to Fergus and his house-messing compatriots, Thing One and Thing Two. They've managed to make a few of the rooms in the house dirtier than my growing OCD can tolerate.

Time to clean some carpets. Cleaning the carpet in the nursery meant dealing with the giagantic/ heavy/ hair-covered bed.

1. Out went the old bedding,
2. Out went the damaged mattress,
3. And out went the bed! (dismantled and moved to the basement for storage)

WWWHHHHEEEEE!!!!!!!

Now the question is, in light of the 3 pets and a baby, should I invest in a rug cleaner or just rent one?

Pictures to follow.

m

Another Year Has Gone By

Last Sunday was the 2nd anniversary of my login date (LID). I wrote and rewrote a message for that day, but the right words never came so I didn’t post.


Maybe it was because I’d watched the Olympic opening ceremonies on Friday. All those images of China’s children: the group of kids presenting the Chinese flag, the pretty girl in the red satin dress singing (okay, lip synching to another girl’s voice), and the little boy who survived the earthquake walking with Yao Ming and then sitting on his shoulders for the finale. I think it was all too much for me.


So, what do I have to say now? Two years is a long time. Thirty-three months (November ’05) since I filled in my first piece of paperwork is even longer. Some days waiting isn’t so bad; more time to work on other things. Other days I question why I’m doing this and why I’m still waiting.

Many of the waiting parents I met early on have changed their situations. They switched to the special needs program, pursued domestic adoption, dropped out due to personal circumstances, and some dropped out of Chinese adoption completely.


In the twenty-four months since my LID, 6+ months of referrals have been processed. Half of the login dates before mine have received referrals. The wait time has increased from 14 months to 31 months. Depressing statistics all.


My response? I’m still here. Enjoy the following platitudes:

~ Everything happens for a reason.
~ Everything happens in its own time.
~ Let things flow naturally.

m

No need for that countdown the Olympics clock anymore

It's 8-8-08, the luckiest day in the Chinese calendar and the start of the Games.

I just hope this year the press doesn't report results before the events are televised in the U.S.

It's a downer to open SeeNN.c0m looking for a news fix and catching a glimpse of "Major Upset! ____ took Gold and ____ settled for Silver in the _____ competition today!" - the event you were all set on watching that evening.

Boo! Bad news agencies!

This year I kind of want to watch the synchronized swimming and diving competitions. Does that make me a geek? Would confessing that I watched curling at the Torino Winter Games confirm that I'm a geek?

m

What I did on my summer vacation

I'm calling it a vacation even if it was really only a two-day road trip. That clarification out of the way, I will tell you what I did.

I went home. To my first home.

Previously I’d mentioned that the infants home were I was born was undergoing a re-purposing, turning it into a senior living complex. The pictures that had been available in the Internet disappeared. The more I thought about it, the more I was concerned that I wouldn't have any pictures for my lifebook; I was concerned the renovations had changed the building too drastically.

Finally, I decide to drive up there and look at the place in person. I wanted to see where I was born, baptized, and taken care of for the first few months of my life. It was a fast trip but I did see everything I wanted to, take some pictures, and got a feel for the place.

I don't say it enough, but I am so thankful of everyone in my family and of everyone who made my life possible. While in the Basilica, I lit candles in memory of my parents, my birth parents, and those people who cared for me while I was in residence.

I said a few prayers and lit a few more candles for my little Beach Baby and all of the people who will be in her life before me. I lit another for my friends who are waiting for their own children. I lit many, many candles. Oddly enough, I just realized I didn't light a candle for myself. Maybe I am hoping someone out there is lighting that candle for me.

That is what I did on my summer vacation.

m

How to embarass a puppy

Practice baby, meet practice diaper.

m

Progress Update

June, 2008 statistics:

The CCAA has reviewed all the dossiers that were submitted on or before January 31, 2007.

The CCAA has matched families and given referrals to prospective adoptive parents whose dossiers were submitted on or before January 20, 2006.


The wait is now approximately 28-29 months.


My dossier submittal date: August 10, 2006.


m

An ugly truth

Two weeks with the new puppy and I'm beginning to get a view of how I'm going to look once Beach Baby comes home.


Let me tell you, it isn't pretty.


While I never imagined I'd be some Donna Reed-esque mommy with coiffured hair vacuuming in pearls, I did think I would look, well, human.


The sad fact: I look like road kill.

Poor Beach Baby, she's going to be sooo embarrassed!

m

Practice baby

Aka, a new puppy!

This is Fergus, our new 10-week old Scottish terrier pup. One of my neighbors called him "excellent practice for a baby!"

I'm sure Beach Baby will love having a dog; the cats, not quite as happy.

m

I promised pictures

These are the cats, Thing One and Thing Two (their names have been changed to protect the innocent).

Thing One is the blue point Siamese and she's 21 years old. Really. Thing Two, the chocolate point Siamese, is 10. She's looks a bit evil here but it's because she doesn't enjoy being photographed.

Siamese cats are very vocal; Beach Baby can have lovely conversations with them. And they are very territorial. Soon "their" bedroom will be turned into a nursery. I don't think that's going to go over so well.

I expect complaints.

m

Smile, it's Mother's Day

I don't celebrate Mother's Day at the moment.

I 'm a waiting mother-to-be, without my child. I expect the same next Mother's Day.

I'm a child without a mother as well. I get little comfort spending the day the cemetery. My parents have been gone since 1999 (Dad) and 2001 (Mom) and I will admit these holidays are still tough.

So on Mother's Day and Father's Day, I try to find activities that keep me away from the whole happy, shiny, Hallmark moments. Today, I spent the afternoon cruising the antique malls. The only reminders of Mom were some of those fugly 1960s mixing bowls I remember from our old house. That made me smile.

So for those of you who do celebrate, I hope your day was joyful, and for those of you waiting to become a mom, I hope next year will see a wonderful change!

m

Be prepared for a lot of bad photography

I finally broke down and bought a digital camera. It's been quite a while since I've used a real camera.

For the last few years I've made due with the tiny, little one built into my mobile phone.



I apologize in advance for the volume of pictures of the nursery, baby clothes, stuffed animals, the cats . . .

So, anyone interested in a 20 year-old SLR camera that uses film?

m

A new decorating scheme

As I'm on a decorating bend, I thought I'd check out the prices on the baby bedding I'd picked out last year.

Surprise! It's been discontinued! I searched the Internet furiously all weekend to no avail. It's long gone. Argh!

I found another set on eB#y and I went ahead and purchased it. It is really cream and black, not black and white. Take the wall hangings, diaper stacker, mobile and other junk out of the picture; that stuff is all too cutesy.

I want to make some changes so I'll have to dust off my sewing skills. Really, I can sew, could sew, way back in the good old days.

I have said before that I don't like toile, but times change. And I saw an episode of DivIne Des#gn on a nursery in toile and I liked the look.

Grandiose plans are my specialty.

m

Nursery decorating has begun (technically)

I bought a dresser for the nursery this weekend. It's vintage (or should I just say old) and right now has a dark stain. The picture is very dark, but it is a 6-drawer highboy.




I found it at my favorite antique mall, He@rt of Ohio Ant*ques. Great place, good dealers. I prefer vintage furniture; it's a better quality, solid hardwood instead of pressboard (see 99% of the junk from $ottery B##n). Prices are a fraction of new and hey, it's green to recycle furniture!

It's not so perfect and vintage that I'd be afraid to paint it, which is good since I haven't decided on a furniture finish for the room.

It might go white or cream or even some other color, and I may swap out the knobs for something fun or funky.


But, techinally, I have started decorating the room. Or I will as soon as I can get the dresser up the stairs!


m

An Update on the CCAA

It's been awhile since I posted the progress stats from the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs).

Currently the CCAA has reviewed all the dossiers that were submitted on or before October 31, 2006. Good news for us; my dossier has been reviewed and the CCAA didn't have any questions about my information.

More importantly, the CCAA has matched families and given referrals to prospective adoptive parents whose dossiers were submitted on or before January 4, 2006. Bad news for us, as that means the wait time has stretched to 26-27 months.

My dossier submittal date: August 10, 2006.

It is likely that my wait will be 36 months or longer.




m

View from the nursery window

This is the view today out the nursery window.





No, the snow hasn't really reached the second floor of the house; the roof of the porch is right outside this window.

But it was a good laugh when I went upstairs to clean the room!

Today we are under a Level 3 Snow Emergency, which means only emergency and police are allowed on the roads. You can be arrested if caught driving.

Is Spring here yet?

m

Should I start working on the nursery?

Happy Lunar New Year to all!

I promised that once the CCAA got through the 2005 referrals, I'd start the nursery. For my agency, they have hit that milestone.



However, at their current rate of activity it is almost certain I won't have an occupant for that room until 2009.



Yes, I said 2009. If luck is with us.



If I set things up now, will the cats claim the crib as their own? Use the rocking chair as a scratching post?



Maybe it will be cheering and motivating. Maybe not. I really can't decide.

m