Christmas 2005

Everything has been so slow of late, so I thought I'd go back in time a bit. Try to harness a few good memories of this process.

Three (yes, 3) years ago today, I was a nervous wreck. Actually, I'd been nervous for about a week but December 23, 2005 was the pinnacle of future mommy freak out.

I was waiting to hear from Great Wall if they had accepted my application.

GW, and the other agencies that dealt with single adoptive parents, had a limited number of slots for 2006. At the time, China limited the number of single parent adoptions each year.

For the previous week, I'd been receiving emails from GW letting me know that they were preparing to notify those they had accepted. The email on December 22nd let us know that they had begun their calls and would be finished by noon on the 23rd.

To my ex-boss, if you are reading this, I confess - I didn't get a lot of work done on the 22nd. Okay, I doubt I got any work done; I just kept staring at my phone, and willing it to ring.

It didn’t ring.

I took a vacation day on December 23rd, and spent the morning with my phone clutched in my hand. I didn’t shop, I didn’t eat, I didn’t go out.

It didn’t ring.

After about 1 o’clock, I resigned myself to the fact that I hadn’t made the cut. I told myself it was for the best and that I would apply next year. Maybe this was God’s way of telling me the time wasn’t right. So, I got up, went out for a bit, and then came home for a little pity party.

At about 3 o’clock my phone rang and honestly I thought it was work calling. I wasn’t going to answer until I realized I didn’t recognize the area code.

The woman on the phone said she was from Great Wall. I’d been accepted.

I was in shock. I don’t think I sounded excited to her; I probably sounded like I thought it was a joke.

I had a honest-to-goodness Christmas miracle that year. Best Christmas gift of my life. Better than a Dancing Ballerina doll, or a new flat screen TV, or anything made of cashmere/platinum/ diamonds.

Next Christmas, I hope I can say that gift has been topped by something, someone, even better.

Merry Christmas to all,

m

Why it is taking me so long to start a family

This is an example of the speed at which I make decisions:

I have owned 2 chairs for a long time. They were originally Mom and Dad's; they inherited them from my aunt and uncle as starter furniture for their first apartment.

By the time they came into my home the upholstery was shredded, the trim was falling off, and when you sat in them you were lucky not to go through the seat.

So again and again I've said, "I need to get those chairs redone", "I really want to fix those chairs", etc.

They were permanent To Do list items. Right along with "move to a house by the ocean" and "get a personal trainer".

I finally sent the chairs off for repair and reupholstery and last week they came back.

It only took 20 years.

It takes a while for my ideas to come to fruition.

One of the chairs today

Me in the same chair a looong time ago.

m

What I did on my summer vacation

I'm calling it a vacation even if it was really only a two-day road trip. That clarification out of the way, I will tell you what I did.

I went home. To my first home.

Previously I’d mentioned that the infants home were I was born was undergoing a re-purposing, turning it into a senior living complex. The pictures that had been available in the Internet disappeared. The more I thought about it, the more I was concerned that I wouldn't have any pictures for my lifebook; I was concerned the renovations had changed the building too drastically.

Finally, I decide to drive up there and look at the place in person. I wanted to see where I was born, baptized, and taken care of for the first few months of my life. It was a fast trip but I did see everything I wanted to, take some pictures, and got a feel for the place.

I don't say it enough, but I am so thankful of everyone in my family and of everyone who made my life possible. While in the Basilica, I lit candles in memory of my parents, my birth parents, and those people who cared for me while I was in residence.

I said a few prayers and lit a few more candles for my little Beach Baby and all of the people who will be in her life before me. I lit another for my friends who are waiting for their own children. I lit many, many candles. Oddly enough, I just realized I didn't light a candle for myself. Maybe I am hoping someone out there is lighting that candle for me.

That is what I did on my summer vacation.

m

Paper Chase - Part Deux

My new I-171H arrived today. The latest set of fingerprints is good until February 2009; the I-171H is valid until May 2009.

(I applauded the local USCIS office, they process documents fast. I've heard horror stories from other states, where the process can take months.)

m

Lifebooks and Life's Little Coincidences

In the adoption community today, parents are encouraged to create a "Lifebook" for their child. It is not supposed to be about the adoption, but about your child's life before joining your family; the idea is to create a book from your child's POV.

I was adopted, and I hope to have a bond with my little one about our shared experience. So, I had an idea - I should create a lifebook for myself. I have some of the paperwork from back then, but I don't have any pictures of the infant home, hospital or city where I spent the first months of my life.

I didn't think I could just call up the agency and ask for those items without someone assuming I'm fishing for information about my birth, which I am not. So, techo-weenie that I am, I started cruising the 'net for images. I didn't have any luck until tonight, when I across a small treasure trove!

It turns out the Infant & Mothers home is still standing (surprise!) and its surrounding campus is being turned into a senior community. The restoration group has collected a series of historical photos as art for the hallways. And with a donation, they will put a plaque on one of the photos with your name on it. There are a few hundred pictures of the hospital, staff and surrounding community, and yes, there are a few that are from my time there!

I'm looking for pictures and there are pictures available because of the renovation - it's one of those weird coincidences! (Insert spooky music here) Hopefully I can get copies of a few to include in my lifebook.

Of course, some of those shots might scare Beach Baby when she reads it; they kind of scare me.

There can always be more Paperwork

This month, it's 1 year since my Homestudy was completed. Update required. In July the first of my U.S. documentation, my fingerprints, expire. Update required. In September, my I-171H joins the expiration party. Yup, update required.

The Homestudy is only good for 2 years; you needed an updated Homestudy to renew the other Federal paperwork. The big question, how much closer to the adoption will I be in May, 2008? I could end up repeating most of the Paperchase again.


On another paperwork front, the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption added a certification requirement on all international adoption agencies. What that means for me is that families in the process need to complete some classes on international and transracial adoption. I'd actually already taken most of the classes but I might need to take them again.

Hey, did I mention that I start grad school next month? I LOVE Paperwork!

Bring it on; my little Beach Baby is worth every page.

m

The Beach Baby family

all_four_fla
Originally uploaded by molly_connelly.

Mom, Dad, big brother Dennis and me.

Note that while I am a true Beach Baby, I was also a pasty child.

And I'm now I'm a very freckled, yet still pasty girl.

m

The original beach baby

mom_2
Originally uploaded by molly_connelly.

This is my Mom, the first Beach Baby!

I think this is her first trip to Florida.

I wish I looked that good in a bathing suit.

m

Adoption Timeline

~~> My adoption timeline <~~

November 26 2005 – Applied to Great Wall China adoption agency.

December 23 2005 - I’ve been accepted by GWCA! Merry Christmas!

February 1 2006 - Begin Paperchase.

February 15 2006 - Birth Certificate arrives from New York.

March 2006 - Medical Exams, background checks and notary visits. Oh now I know why they call it a chase!

April 18 2006 - Fingerprinted by the nice folks at Citizenship and Immigrations Services.

April 2006 - Begin Homestudy with Pam from Adoption Circle.
Parenting class, Infant CPR, and fire inspection for Homestudy.

April 2006 - Final home visits for Homestudy.

April 23 2006 - Fingerprints, I-600A and Homestudy off to CIS.

May 11 2006 - I-171H received!

June 23 2006 - Getting my documents notarized, certified by State of Ohio.

July 7 2006 - Documents off to Chinese Consulate in New York for authentication.

July 14 2006 - Finishing off my dossier with pictures, and my letter to the China Center for Adoption Affairs.

July 23 2006 - Copies, copies and more copies of my dossier.

July 24 2006 - Dossier to GWCA.

July 28 2006 - DTC! Dossier sent to China.

August 4 2006 – Received ‘brown envelope’ from U.S. Consulate, Guangzhou.

August 10 2006 - LID! Dossier logged in at CCAA.

August 2006 – waiting.

September 2006 – waiting.

October 2006 – waiting.

November 2006 – waiting.

December 2006 – waiting.

January 2007 – waiting.

February 2007 – waiting.

March 2007 – waiting.

April 2007 - waiting.

May 2007 - still waiting.

June 2007 - waiting.

July 2007 - waiting.

August 2007 - waiting (for 1 whole year!).

September 2007 – Through the Review Room!

October 2007 - waiting.

November 2007 - Renewed Homestudy & I-171H.
December 2007 - waiting.
January 2008 – waiting.

February 2008 – waiting.

March 2008 - waiting.

April 2008 - waiting.

May 2008 - Homestudy expired after 2 years. Another round of paperwork.

June 2008 - waiting.
July 2008 - waiting.

August 2008 - 2nd year anniversary of my LID.
September 2008 - waiting.
October 2008 - waiting.

November 2008 - waiting.
December 2008 - waiting.

January 2009 - waiting.

February 2009 - waiting.

March 2009 - waiting.

April 2009 - Round three of U.S. paperwork, homestudy update, fingerprints.

May 2009 - received new I-171H.

June 2009 - May 2010 - waiting.

August 2010 - 4 year anniversary of LID.

September - November 2010 - working on renewal of I-171 and homestudy.

November 2010 - New job!

December 2010 - February 2011 - waiting some more.


November 2011 - Cutoff was August 7.  Three days of LIDs left.


December 17, 2011 - Rumors of the next group including August 10.


December 20, 2011 - She's here!